Bittersweet

His high school career is drawing to a close. The past couple of months have been filled with accomplishments and "lasts." Tomorrow is his last academics awards assembly, he hasn't missed one, earning honors every year.  About a month ago, the winter drum line participated in their final performance of the season, receiving the highest marks the Ozark High School Winter Drum Line has received since its inception. He played marimba in a wind ensemble that scored a 1+, the highest possible score in a competition a couple of weeks ago. I have been remiss in flagging these events and accomplishments because I feel paralyzed by my mixed emotions. I am thrilled for all he is and all he has done, and I ache because this pride and joy should have been experienced by his mother.

 Ben has a strong sense of who he is. He loves nature, being in it, reading about it, observing it, even worshiping it. He is gentle, a pacifist to his core. He is an introvert -- one who renews himself in solitude. He is a avid learner and an amazing repository of information, especially about insects!

Part of my avoidance in recognizing that his time living with me is coming to an end, is my failure to purchase senior pictures. I know that those posed portraits would utterly fail to capture the essence of this wonderful person just as a pinned insect specimen destroys the essence of a magnificent creature. The photos on this page are some taken this past week and although you don't clearly see his face in the bottom two, they are much better portraits.