Whirlwind Trip

Logan and I spent a very productive long weekend in California over Easter. We left Springfield on Friday, my 75th birthday. I celebrated by walking through airport security wearing a sweater and my shoes (and a few other articles of apparel), having just arrived at the age of privilege where such wild goings-on are tolerated by the folks at TSA. Nonetheless, Logan and I both had to endure patdowns because of our various metal body parts.

I drove our rental car (a Chevrolet of some sort that was nearly impossible to get in and out of because of the low entry)straight to Davis because I miss Ben too much and couldn't wait to see him. Well, I was able to wait just a bit -- Logan and I hit In and Out Burger before driving to the campus. I don't know why their simple classic burgers, shakes, and fries are so good, but nearly all California emigres drool at the thought of them. Many of the joys of moving back to California are retail related: Costco, Ikea, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, In and Out Burger, REI (gift shopping for Ben), Crate and Barrel, Cost Plus, Williams-Sonoma, etc. I know these places exist in other parts of the country, but they are all close together and easily accessible from where we'll be living (and shopping).

Colleen and Robby met us in Davis and Ben "bought" all of us dinner loowith his student dining

commons card after we spent some silly time in my hotel room at the Aggie Inn. I spent the night in Davis while Logan went home with Robby and Colleen.

The next day Logan and I checked out the apartment we want to rent in El Dorado Hills. It is quite nice and conveniently located to retail (!) and family. Amenities of the complex include a pool, clubhouse, basketball court, dog park, washer and dryer in the unit, and three bedrooms which we will somehow squeeze into. I am so ready for this move.

Sister Valery and Jim Piper were married at Saturday noon. They said their beautifully-scripted vows on the beach at Negro Bar Beach on the American River and then we went to the nearby Sudwerks for lunch. The weather was sunny and mild and the very small select company sublime. 

 Colleen and Andy wait for the ceremony to begin while Susie Lee and I fool around taking each other's pictures. Susie (she calls herself Sue these days) and Valery have been friends all their lives, 61 years. Our families lived next door to each other.

 Logan made it down the stairs to watch the ceremony. He did amazingly well on the trip, schlepping through airports, sitting in cramped seats, sleeping on couches, and maneuvering over rough terrain.

 The bride and groom just before the ceremony, and (below) while exchanging vows.

 The happy couple hosting the reception at Sudwerks.

Valery shows off her wedding band while Jim proves he never grew up.

 Ben and Logan paid their respects to Missy while we visited Jim and Valery at their home after the wedding festivities.

 Silly cat at Valery's thinks Colleen placed this bowl under the table just for her comfort.

Silly Ben thinks this hammock was placed in Colleen's backyard just for his comfort. Valery looks on while he reads from an assigned book for one of his classes at UC Davis.

Today we are back at home and things are gearing up for our move. The house is listed and we have already had a couple of people express interest. One opted for another house, the other hasn't seen the house yet, but wants to have a big house in this neighborhood and ours is the only large house in our neighborhood on the market. 

Living His Dream

Ben has been very fortunate in his choice of schools. I am so glad he persevered when I was doubting the wisdom of letting him going far, far away. Davis has many fabulous offerings. Here's a sample:

• The STEP program provided an in-depth orientation to campus life just before school started. It began with a four-week intensive residential sampling of college life, complete with residence hall living, dining commons meals, classes, and counseling. All at no cost to Ben. Once a student has been accepted into the STEP program, they remain with the program through all four undergraduate years.The University wants to ensure the success of these special kids.
• He has been accepted into the BUSP program. It's a special program for students who want to pursue research in biological sciences. In the summer between Freshman and Sophomore year, it provides two free summer school sessions along with a stipend to help with living expenses. Sophomore year he is guaranteed a job in research.
• He has become interested in the community gardens and the domes housing
  
  He has been taking meals there several times in the past couple of weeks. I can imagine him living in the domes when the time comes.
• He is investigating research travel through Wallacea

Oh, Ben, the places you'll go, the things you'll see.

And he witnessed his first campus protest. He did not partake, because he has yet to form an opinion, but he will be doing his research to find out how he feels about the position of the new UC president on immigration issues and he will be watching to see what actions she takes. Ben has never been political in the past and it's exciting to see this awakening.

Reporting In

Robin would have been 52 years old today, but instead, she is forever 39. Like sister Colleen said today on Facebook, I wish I could have seen her red hair turn gray. I still cannot believe she is gone and yet I can't imagine what it would be like if she were here. I want so much for her to know the joy her boys have brought to me. There are so different from each other, so unique, yet both are amazing, wonderful kids.

Ben has dreamed of being an entomologist for nearly as long as he has lived with me. I think he went straight from paleontologist to entomologist when he outgrew the dinosaur phase. His grit and determination in gaining admission to UC Davis were all his own doing. I had hoped he would stay close to home for a few more years. Only when I realized he would never forgive me if I thwarted him, did I give in. His getting to Davis is entirely due to his grit and persistence. His focus is amazing. And now as I see him unfold, I'm pretty sure he was right.

Never a kid who was interested in what he wore, he found REI in California and for the first time developed an interest in shopping for clothes. He learned to dress in a way that expresses who he is -- outdoors clothing for the field-bound research scientist. He attended the Entomology Club Fall Social and seems to be enjoying that small community within the huge campus population. I was so afraid to let him go and yet he has navigated with confidence since leaving home. He does laundry, buys textbooks, gets into programs and activities that are important to him, deals with roommate issues, seems to be eating, sleeping, getting places on time, and living like an independent adult (except the money part, although he is frugal). Most important, he seems to have a good sense of who he is and where he is going.

Ben is smart, funny, introverted, literal, kind, logical, intense, and honest. He's an exceptional person and I believe he will make an important contribution in the field of entomology.

Logan is loquacious. He can chat up anybody. He's interesting, interested, funny, smart, personable, sweet, and extroverted. He loves to dress in business clothes -- suit and tie. He recently upgraded his backpack to a brief case and uses it to carry his books and school supplies. He likes speech and debate and belongs to the Literature Club at school. He is participating in the International Baccalaureate program at his school. It is a rigorous and challenging program and he is working hard at it.  Just a couple of days ago, he asked me to get him a subscription to The Economist. He wants to be a lawyer. He will be a good one.

The differences between the two boys fascinate me. So different and yet both so wonderful. Thank you Robin.

And Yet My Heart Sings

The house deal is all but dead. The buyers failed to get the loan they had applied for and were unable to close. The "all but" part is they are still trying to get a loan and still want to buy the house. And I still want them to have it. I already rented the house I hoped to move to and if the deal collapses (which realistically speaking, it has) I will have to break the lease, move back the few things I had moved in, and lose a couple thousand dollars. That really sucks. I also moved a bunch of stuff to a storage facility which I won't need. And I really like the house I rented. That's the part I'm having a hard part shaking. I can envision living there and I want to!

So, I could be righteously depressed. But, I'm not. I had a phone call from Ben yesterday to let me know he has been accepted into UC Davis's BUSP program. BUSP is Biology Undergraduate Scholars Program. It is designed to track EOP kids for PhD programs in the biological sciences. So, as friend Sharon suggested, that makes it Ben's Uber Special Program. Yes, I'm very excited that he has been accepted into this program which will get him into some research-track classes including two special summer school classes at the end of his freshman year. These classes are FREE and he will be given a stipend to help defray living costs. During his sophomore year he will have the opportunity to work for PAY on a research project. And that is all very good news. But, the best part is knowing he is realizing his dream. And that makes my heart sing.

Doing the Limbo

We are still in limbo, waiting to see whether the sale of our house will go through. It is exasperating and fattening. I spend my days wandering around the house wondering if I should continue packing or start unpacking. In the meanwhile, I dust the tops of the packed boxes lining the walls of every room.

I can't really clean, everything is topsy-turvy, so I am cooking instead -- trying to use up food in the cupboards and freezer. I'm really strapped for cash because of (non) moving costs and paying for two places. Using up food on hand helps conserve grocery money, but it also results in meals of marginal nutritional value: lots of carbs, tortillas, pasta, potatoes and low on fresh fruit and veggies.

I haven't packed my sewing machine, but some of my sewing stuff is already at the other house, so I can do a limited amount of sewing, but not the projects I really want to work on, ones that would make me happy.

Just one more week and I'll know. I will have to pull the plug on the deal if it doesn't close by next Friday.

Ben is also in limbo, but his is a happier place. He has completed his four-week STEP orientation program and is awaiting the official beginning of the fall quarter with first classes on September 26. He'll spend the intervening time at Valery's. Move in date for his new residence hall is September 22. This break required that he move completely out of the room he had been living in, pack up his stuff, shlepp it over to Valery's and then move it back to campus on the move-in date. I'm thankful Valery has been able to help him with this. He is more enthusiastic than ever about where he is and what he is doing and I am even more certain it is the right thing and the right place for him. I sense that he is happy and confident.

Logan's limbo is that zone between being sick and well. He missed two days of school this past week with a cold. He hates to miss school because perfect attendance exempts him from finals. But, he seems to be on the mend today.

I'll try to come up with a happy post next time. Fall is in the air and the weather is perfect, surely that will cheer me up!

STEPping into UC Davis

On a whirlwind trip to California last weekend, I delivered Ben to UC Davis. Leaving home Friday morning, I took a three-hop trip through Denver and Phoenix and arrived in Sacramento around 5:00 PM. and then headed to Valery's in my beautiful rented Chevrolet Traverse. I've been driving Japanese cars since 1981, but if I could afford a Traverse, I'd buy American again. That vehicle was amazingly comfortable and had so many convenient safety features. WANT! 

That evening, Colleen, Andy, and Robby brought us a great assortment of takeout food from Whole Foods (WANT Whole Foods nearby!) including some interesting vegan/vegetarian dishes for Ben. Robby is great at engaging with Ben and I love to watch and listen to them banter.

Saturday morning, Ben loaded the car and we struck out for Davis. We first went through a registration process where I had my first meltdown. The smiling person at the desk asked my name, and I fell apart. Great gulping sobs and rivers of tears -- the whole (water) works.

 Here's Ben's home away from home for the next four weeks. He's staying in a triple room, although there are only two of them occupying it for the STEP program.

Ben's roommate is from Atwater, California and seems to be a nice kid. I am hopeful that they will get along together.

I can't believe how tight the rooms are, they literally stack them in there -- note the bunk beds. There is a single bed behind Ben. Although Ben was the first to arrive, he graciously waited till Tyson showed up and allowed him to choose his bed first. Tyson opted for the single and Ben went for the lower bunk. Fortunately there is lots of open common space and lounge areas. This level of sharing is going to be a big change for Ben.

Campus food at Davis is nothing like the Army style grub I experienced in my college dining commons. Because Davis is an Agriculture school, a lot of the food served is grown right on campus. Ben is holding a bagel nearly as big as his face in the photo above and those bagels are part of the every day offerings in the platform-style dining commons.

Politically correct and delicious fair trade certified Starbuck's coffee is also part of the standard fare, along with a wide assortment of vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free offerings. 

Eco-awareness is pervasive. You can't toss anything without considering the destination of the refuse. The trash buckets labeled "Landfill" are much smaller (and scarcer) than the various recycle bins around campus.

 

 And then there are the bicycles. On any given day during the school year, 20,000 bicycles are being pedalled around the nine-square mile campus.

Ben is participating in UC Davis's STEP (Special Transition Enrichment Program). This amazing program is designed for kids who may need extra attention in making the transition to college life. In many cases, these are kids who are aging out of foster care and they are most often of ethnic minorities. Ben was selected because of his status as an emancipated orphan. He is conspicuous in the group because of his red hair (the only red head among the 100+ kids) and his fair skin. Diversity is a bonus feature of the program for a kid who comes from very white community. In spite of his background, Ben seems to be culturally color-blind.

The four-week orientation includes mock college classes to prepare them for the real thing; priority registration, and loads of counselling. They remain identified as STEP kids throughout their undergrad years and everything is done to promote their academic success. Their grades are monitored and they are provided tutoring if necessary; they have access to an abundance of academic, financial, and psychological counselling services; and they continue to have access to priority registration throughout their time at Davis.

As part of the four week program, Ben is scheduled for one-on-one meetings with the chair of the Entomology department and with the head of the Bohart Entomology Museum. Ben has had contact with both of these people in the past, so these meetings should serve to clearly identify Ben to these people who will be important to him. Ben hopes to work at the museum and he wants to become part of a research team. Research-track  courses in the biological sciences are offered at UC Davis.

After spending a day on campus and learning much more about the program and the University, I am convinced Ben is in the right place.

I spent the night in a single room in a residence hall -- part of a four-room group sharing a  bathroom. Everything I needed was conveniently at hand. But, OMG, was it small! I could not shake the image of a prison cell and kept wondering what a life of incarceration would really be like. Just after falling into a deep sleep, the fire alarm sounded. Because it is still summer break on campus, the only occupants of the residence hall were half a dozen parental-type attendees of the STEP orientation. We all vacated our rooms and didn't know what to do. I finally called 911 (the calls go to the on-campus emergency services) and was told the fire department was responding. Of course, it turned out to be a false alarm, someone had "accidentally" leaned on the alarm button. Seems that I remember similar "accidents" occurring on a regular basis during my dormitory days. Some things never change.

(Sorry for the awkward formating of this post, blogger is being uncooperative this morning.)