On This Day

Fifty years ago today, Roger and I were married. I can't let that pass without some observations on who we were and what we did during the twenty-two years we spent as husband and wife.

1. We both grew up in tumble-down Victorian-era houses.
2. We were both the first-born (I had four sibs, he had three).
3. I had a lousy mother and a good father, he had a lousy father and a good mother.
4. We were both 20 years old when we got married. He had to have his parents' consent to marry.
5. He was in the Navy, stationed at Alameda when we met at a USO dance.
6. We were married five months after we met.
7. We were married at St. Lawrence O'Toole's Catholic Church in Oakland and had the reception at Leona Lodge. I am still in contact with two out of three of my attendants.
8. For our honeymoon, we drove to his parents home in Nebraska. (They had been unable to attend the wedding.)
9. We spent a night at a motel ($4) in Avon, Colorado along the way. It was a beautiful, high alpine valley, along a river, sparsely populated. Today, it is Vail and filled with condominiums.
10. Five months after we were married, he was sent to Midway Island for thirteen months (with no leave, no visits, only letters and an occasional ham radio conversation -- and this was during peace time!)
11. After Midway, he was stationed on Whidbey Island in Puget Sound where Robin, our first child, was born. I developed a life-long friendship with Shirley Dillery (she died a couple of years ago).
12. We moved to Santa Clara when he was discharged in December 1961 and he went to work for Lockheed. Highway 101 at that time had stop lights on it, the freeway wasn't completed until a few years later. Lawrence Expressway was then Lawrence Station Road.
13. I went to work for Stanford Research Institute in 1962 and developed a couple of enduring friendships.
14. We bought our first house in 1963 - 3 bedrooms, 980 square feet, for $15,450. We barely qualified because in those days, they would not consider a wife's income. My friendship with Nancy was established when we were neighbors.
15. In 1964, our twins, Kevin and Colleen, were born. Health insurance did not provide maternity benefits and we had to pay the total --$500 to the doctor and $500 to the hospital -- out of pocket.
16. After a couple of rocky years, he was hired by IBM.
17. We both started taking college courses in the evening.
18. In 1970 we bought a Ford van and used it for many camping trips with other families.
19. I went back to work in 1972.
20. We took a memorable trip to Europe with two other couples in 1973.
21. We moved to our second house in 1973.
22. He earned his bachelor's degree in 1975.
23. I finished my bachelor's in 1976.
24. We moved to our third house in 1977.
25. Robin graduated from high school in 1979.
26. I started graduate school in 1980.
26. Our marriage ended in 1981.

Looking at this list, I'm struck by the fact that the first part of the list is amplified with descriptions, or asides and the last eleven items are merely data points. I leave that to you to analyze.

I have learned after 22 years of marriage followed by 28 years of single life, that I would not be a good marriage partner. I hate to compromise and really like having things my way! I can't imagine being married to someone like me. However, I am eternally grateful for the three wonderful children that were the products of our marriage.