Living His Dream

Ben has been very fortunate in his choice of schools. I am so glad he persevered when I was doubting the wisdom of letting him going far, far away. Davis has many fabulous offerings. Here's a sample:

• The STEP program provided an in-depth orientation to campus life just before school started. It began with a four-week intensive residential sampling of college life, complete with residence hall living, dining commons meals, classes, and counseling. All at no cost to Ben. Once a student has been accepted into the STEP program, they remain with the program through all four undergraduate years.The University wants to ensure the success of these special kids.
• He has been accepted into the BUSP program. It's a special program for students who want to pursue research in biological sciences. In the summer between Freshman and Sophomore year, it provides two free summer school sessions along with a stipend to help with living expenses. Sophomore year he is guaranteed a job in research.
• He has become interested in the community gardens and the domes housing
  
  He has been taking meals there several times in the past couple of weeks. I can imagine him living in the domes when the time comes.
• He is investigating research travel through Wallacea

Oh, Ben, the places you'll go, the things you'll see.

And he witnessed his first campus protest. He did not partake, because he has yet to form an opinion, but he will be doing his research to find out how he feels about the position of the new UC president on immigration issues and he will be watching to see what actions she takes. Ben has never been political in the past and it's exciting to see this awakening.

The Trouble With Tribble

The trouble with Tribble is that he has only three legs. Kevin and Rachel adopted him after he had lost his right rear leg in an encounter with a car. It doesn't slow him down much. He is very adept at scrambling up onto high places by pulling himself up with his front feet. He's a bit clumsy and noisy, but very determined. He also has a voice that cannot be ignored. The "Awww" factor with this cat is very high so he gets lots of love and attention.Here he is resting on a quilt I finished while visiting Kevin and Rachel this week.

 I went up to Kansas City on Wednesday evening so I could go with Rachel to her chemo appointments on Thursday and Friday. Thursday's session was no problem. The chemo protocol for Friday is more difficult to tolerate and takes longer to administer. Rachel is such a good patient. She is taking very good care of herself and is doing everything she can to aggressively attack any unwelcome cells in her body. I'm sure she'll be victorious. The chemo had left her feeling a bit unwell Saturday morning when I left. She expects the effects to linger a few more days and then she will be feeling better by midweek.

Kevin is working in Mississippi for the next several months. He comes home Friday night and leaves on Monday morning. Every fifth week he spends at home. It is hard for him to be gone while Rachel is undergoing chemo, but they are coping pretty well.

I expect the holidays will be rather quiet around here. Ben will be in California for Thanksgiving and I think Danny is planning to be there also. Rachel and Kevin will probably not be with us as they will be avoiding travel and exposure to any unnecessary germs while Rachel's immune system is depleted from the chemo.

Reporting In

Robin would have been 52 years old today, but instead, she is forever 39. Like sister Colleen said today on Facebook, I wish I could have seen her red hair turn gray. I still cannot believe she is gone and yet I can't imagine what it would be like if she were here. I want so much for her to know the joy her boys have brought to me. There are so different from each other, so unique, yet both are amazing, wonderful kids.

Ben has dreamed of being an entomologist for nearly as long as he has lived with me. I think he went straight from paleontologist to entomologist when he outgrew the dinosaur phase. His grit and determination in gaining admission to UC Davis were all his own doing. I had hoped he would stay close to home for a few more years. Only when I realized he would never forgive me if I thwarted him, did I give in. His getting to Davis is entirely due to his grit and persistence. His focus is amazing. And now as I see him unfold, I'm pretty sure he was right.

Never a kid who was interested in what he wore, he found REI in California and for the first time developed an interest in shopping for clothes. He learned to dress in a way that expresses who he is -- outdoors clothing for the field-bound research scientist. He attended the Entomology Club Fall Social and seems to be enjoying that small community within the huge campus population. I was so afraid to let him go and yet he has navigated with confidence since leaving home. He does laundry, buys textbooks, gets into programs and activities that are important to him, deals with roommate issues, seems to be eating, sleeping, getting places on time, and living like an independent adult (except the money part, although he is frugal). Most important, he seems to have a good sense of who he is and where he is going.

Ben is smart, funny, introverted, literal, kind, logical, intense, and honest. He's an exceptional person and I believe he will make an important contribution in the field of entomology.

Logan is loquacious. He can chat up anybody. He's interesting, interested, funny, smart, personable, sweet, and extroverted. He loves to dress in business clothes -- suit and tie. He recently upgraded his backpack to a brief case and uses it to carry his books and school supplies. He likes speech and debate and belongs to the Literature Club at school. He is participating in the International Baccalaureate program at his school. It is a rigorous and challenging program and he is working hard at it.  Just a couple of days ago, he asked me to get him a subscription to The Economist. He wants to be a lawyer. He will be a good one.

The differences between the two boys fascinate me. So different and yet both so wonderful. Thank you Robin.

And Yet My Heart Sings

The house deal is all but dead. The buyers failed to get the loan they had applied for and were unable to close. The "all but" part is they are still trying to get a loan and still want to buy the house. And I still want them to have it. I already rented the house I hoped to move to and if the deal collapses (which realistically speaking, it has) I will have to break the lease, move back the few things I had moved in, and lose a couple thousand dollars. That really sucks. I also moved a bunch of stuff to a storage facility which I won't need. And I really like the house I rented. That's the part I'm having a hard part shaking. I can envision living there and I want to!

So, I could be righteously depressed. But, I'm not. I had a phone call from Ben yesterday to let me know he has been accepted into UC Davis's BUSP program. BUSP is Biology Undergraduate Scholars Program. It is designed to track EOP kids for PhD programs in the biological sciences. So, as friend Sharon suggested, that makes it Ben's Uber Special Program. Yes, I'm very excited that he has been accepted into this program which will get him into some research-track classes including two special summer school classes at the end of his freshman year. These classes are FREE and he will be given a stipend to help defray living costs. During his sophomore year he will have the opportunity to work for PAY on a research project. And that is all very good news. But, the best part is knowing he is realizing his dream. And that makes my heart sing.

Doing the Limbo

We are still in limbo, waiting to see whether the sale of our house will go through. It is exasperating and fattening. I spend my days wandering around the house wondering if I should continue packing or start unpacking. In the meanwhile, I dust the tops of the packed boxes lining the walls of every room.

I can't really clean, everything is topsy-turvy, so I am cooking instead -- trying to use up food in the cupboards and freezer. I'm really strapped for cash because of (non) moving costs and paying for two places. Using up food on hand helps conserve grocery money, but it also results in meals of marginal nutritional value: lots of carbs, tortillas, pasta, potatoes and low on fresh fruit and veggies.

I haven't packed my sewing machine, but some of my sewing stuff is already at the other house, so I can do a limited amount of sewing, but not the projects I really want to work on, ones that would make me happy.

Just one more week and I'll know. I will have to pull the plug on the deal if it doesn't close by next Friday.

Ben is also in limbo, but his is a happier place. He has completed his four-week STEP orientation program and is awaiting the official beginning of the fall quarter with first classes on September 26. He'll spend the intervening time at Valery's. Move in date for his new residence hall is September 22. This break required that he move completely out of the room he had been living in, pack up his stuff, shlepp it over to Valery's and then move it back to campus on the move-in date. I'm thankful Valery has been able to help him with this. He is more enthusiastic than ever about where he is and what he is doing and I am even more certain it is the right thing and the right place for him. I sense that he is happy and confident.

Logan's limbo is that zone between being sick and well. He missed two days of school this past week with a cold. He hates to miss school because perfect attendance exempts him from finals. But, he seems to be on the mend today.

I'll try to come up with a happy post next time. Fall is in the air and the weather is perfect, surely that will cheer me up!

Overwhelmed and Losing it, Loosely Wrapped and Unraveling

I have been on the edge of hysteria for at least a week now. Well, that's not entirely true, at least three times I've gone over the edge and plunged into the depths. Life is really complicated right now and it requires lots of planning, coordination, and physical work. I need lots of help and as always, I have a tough time asking for it.
So far, I have blown up at Logan, Steve Maples, and my car. If any of the rest of you come into the line of fire in the next few weeks, please know I appreciate you being there for whatever reason and please know that if I blow up, it's probably about me, not you.

 What's eating me?

• I have to be ready for the movers on Saturday.
• Logan is also overwhelmed with balancing the demands of a job and the rigorous IB program at school. He spends every waking moment he is at home working on his school computer or with his nose in a book.
• Danny's hours limit his availability to help.
• Both boys are never available at the same time, so the two-man jobs aren't getting done.
• Rachel is constantly on my mind and in my heart. Chemo is not easy and she and Kevin have way too many stresses in their lives. 
• My physical strength is very limited. I can do only a small amount of work and then must rest.
• The Maples clan is all absorbed in grieving the loss of Julia's father and attending his funeral on the other side of the state.
• It's been bloody hot.
• I still have tons of sorting, selling, storing, and tossing to do.
• I miss Ben.

On the other hand:

• I'm so looking forward to living in a smaller, more manageable house.
• I can't wait to reduce my inventory of stuff (by sorting, selling, and tossing).
• The weather is pleasant. I don't think I've ever moved when the weather is decent -- it's always been during a terrible storm or a killer heatwave. 
• People are helping me.
• Most of the people I've offended will forgive me.
• This too, will pass.

In the meanwhile, I will practice as many avoidance techniques as I can muster:

• Blogging
• Re-reading a book from my childhood
• Playing solitaire mindlessly

I'm open to suggestions for any other distractions. 

Rachel's Endeavor

My cradle-snatching son, Kevin (now 49), wed Rachel Hall (now 37) on June 12, 2004, at Unity Church in Overland Park, Kansas. She left her family behind and moved into Kevin's house in Sacramento. Later, they sold that house and moved to Lenexa, Kansas where they live today with three cats and two dogs. It's a three and a half hour drive from my home in Ozark, close enough to get together for important occasions or when we just feel like it.

Here's Rachel at one of those important occasions that didn't occur at either of our homes. We all traveled to Cape Code in May of 2007 for the wedding of grandson Tom Paine and Nichole. A highlight of the trip was a mad shopping trip to Cubby's where we snatched up a couple dozen Cape Cod T-shirts. Rachel is modeling hers in the picture above.

This picture, my all-time favorite, was taken Christmas 2008. She has such beautiful skin and eyes, or in this case, eye. And she puts up with Kevin!

Here's a quilt I made for Rachel. It's king-sized (108" x 112"), made from reproduction Civil War era fabrics, machine-pieced and quilted by hand. 

 

Here's  a close-up of the quilting stitches (nine stitches to the inch). The quilting designs are all original, designed by me especially for this quilt.

And here's the label on the back of the quilt that tells a little bit about what it took to make the quilt. The million stitches and mile of thread refer only to the hand quilting and don't take into consideration all the stitches and thread involved in the machine piecing. All in all, it was quite an Endeavor.

But it is nothing compared to the endeavor Rachel is now undertaking. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer around a month ago. She has had surgery and now is beginning chemotherapy.  The oncologist feels quite sure they got all of it with the surgery, but the chemo is to make certain it is all eradicated. The quilt is a symbol of the love and warmth I want to wrap her in during her endeavor.